A night at a gentleman’s club

November 9, 2010 § Leave a comment

Now that we have established the fact that the Posh International Nigerian is a girl with an addiction/obsession/passion for fashion, music, style, art-basically all things nice.

Let’s get to the important stuff. Nah, I’ll rather use the word “interesting”, I’m talking fish farming, steps to study right, finding the right degree for you…..haha, just kidding I’m talking boys, money, girls-got your attention ei?

First things first, let’s focus on the topic for today

The P.I.N’s Night at a Gents Club.

I’m sitting in my apartment on Friday evening, and thinking… ‘my friend, Sheri is leaving Dubai tomorrow morning so we’ve got to do something’. BTW, Sheri is this girl with the cutest feet in the world. Then I get a call from another friend saying she’s stuck in town and can’t make it for a hostessing job in some prestigious hotel….she asked me to replace her …so I’m like cool, “what’s the timing like?”…she’s like 8 pm-12 am. 12 am is perfect because I get to go out with Sherri before she leaves.

I call her agency and tell them I’ll be replacing miss x…..the British lady on the other end of the phone is rather shocked….she says “miss x is not booked for today”…so I’m like… “oh, ok”but I’m thinking…’ What a disappointment…Arrrgggghhhh! There goes my new shoe money’.

10 minutes later, I get a call from the same agency asking me to be a hostess at some other prestigious hotel, so I’m like cool, the following conversion ensues:

her: ” you have to wear a classy black dress and heels…it’s an elegant place”

me: “ok”…. I’m thinking: wow, that’s the only requirement?

her: “where are you from?”…  I’m thinking: there goes my job…these racists.

me: “I’m from Nigeria”,

her: “perfect”….wow, that’s a first

her: “how quickly, can you get to location x”

me: “1 hour”……I sound desperate don’t I?, time is money and vice versa .

I get there and only then do I realize that It’s a club…..very nice ambiance, it has a Victorian setting, has 3 rooms, the most amazing room has crystals on the roof, there’s this beautiful, black, female DJ playing the most amazing songs like Sade Ade’s ‘By your side’.

To cut the long story short….no strippers show up….what were u thinking??? This is The UAE…lol. I’m loving  this place, until some of the guests on my table  I was assigned to  start making such a fuss…..so what if you’re the biggest suppliers of products A,B &C in the U.A.E  and you bought 4 or 5 bottles of $1096 (160,000 Naira) wine and got so much food??? No wonder you look like pregnant men….It just opened my eyes to see how much of jerks people can be, like one guy was arguing with the Head Chef about weather a knife was a steak knife or not, and he goes:

“If I can cut your face with this, then it’s a steak knife”…..who say’s that??

At the end of the night, I get happy because the only guy who’s not being a jerk on that table apologizes to me on behalf of his friends and tells the Boss I’m a wonderful hostess (he didn’t tip). I’m still grinning from the compliments I got (I won’t tell you all of them, lest I sound self-absorbed….hehe) when this tipsy  jerk, he’s Indian BTW, walk up to me and ask’s where I’m from,” I’m from Nigeria”, I reply …..

Him:  “You don’t act African”

Me: “You mean. I don’t look African?”

Him: “No, You don’t ACT African”….stressing the ACT

I’m so pissed off at this moment I almost go….weren’t the Indian’s colonized by the British too??? But my effrontery fails me and my neon pink shoes calm me down (shoot! I’m not supposed to wear those next week…assuming I goback)

Overall ( at the risk of sounding like a promoter)…..it was a  good experience, very classy,chic,elegant, POSH place….would definitely go there if I had the money.

Will put up pictures of my hostessing outfit and Neon pink shoes in a couple of days.

Yours Truly,

The Posh International Nigerian (The P.I.N)

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